Friday, September 21, 2012

Tuk

Dear Jonah,
You love tuk right now. You reach for him, you are delighted by the way he jumps around. You want to pet him, you laugh when he licks you.
The other night when dad was delivering pizzas, I took the two of you on a walk to Brian and Alina's. You started to cry, so i picked you up. I was dragging Tuk and holding you with one arm, and pulling the stroller along with the other. It was quite the show. I was exhausted, but not mad or frustrated.
My heart actually sunk a little. I will miss these days of wrangling you all around while you are little. But i can't wait for the day when you and Tuk realize you are best friends.

Right now, right now.

Dear Jonah,

I am having moments realizing how much these moments mean right now. When I lie with you on the bed and sing and hold your hand, when you catch my eye from across the room, when you fall asleep in my arms... suddenly I remember you will only be a baby once. I will only be your mom while you're a baby once. One time. In my whole life. In your whole life. In all the span of human existence, I only get this time, one time. Right now. Sometimes dad holds you up and jokingly says "Stop. Stop growing! Stay just like this." Of course we want you to learn and grow and experience all the amazingness of life, but this is the most amazing my life has ever been. So each moment of this time is so precious to me. I will treasure these days, and the funny thing is, is that you will have no conscious memory of them. But your body will remember. Your wiring will remember. The more sweet I can make each moment, the more sweet your future moments will be with others. So each minute counts and is counting. I love you, Jonah baby... and I will love you still when you are Jonah boy, and Jonah man....

Now I know why I cry and why my dad cried every time we sing...
              Where are you going?...My little ones, precious ones,... Where are you going? My baby, my own....Turn around and your two, turn around and your four, turn around and your a big boy, going out moms back door... Where are you going? My little ones, precious ones, time like a memory.. Where did you go? Turn around, it's a week.... Turn around it's a year.... Turn around it's a memory turning into a tear...