words

Your latest word is: Hello.

Hello, chickens.

Hello, person on the phone.

Hello, dog.

Lately....

Dear Jonah,

Hi. You change so fast, that sometimes I forget when things are new or when they started. Yesterday, Ryder asked me when you started walking.... I said, "well, gradually over the course of the last few weeks..." Don't get me wrong, I remember your first steps. We were in the front yard. Dad was sitting by you. He helped you stand up and you took a step. But I don't know what day that was. So.... just so I can remember, here are some of the things you do lately.

-Walk around the house using all the walls or the broom to help keep your balance.
-You have started crawling out of your room when you wake up instead of crying. It is hilarious.
-You like to vacuum with the vacuum on now. You know how to turn it off if you get bored.
-You take the spoon away from me when you eat so you can do it yourself.
-You think it's funny when you bite us.
-You point at Leo, Tigra, and Jesus over and over again in the guest room.
-You hug your stuffed animals, then hand them to me.
-You growl a lot.
-You were up all night last night growing a tooth.
-You make best friends with anyone who will take you outside to see the chickens, a dog, or play in the dirt.
-You are obsessed with Tuk's food bowls.
-You empty all the cupboards and drawers.
-You say "brroom broom" whenever you see a toy truck or car.
-You get really excited whenever you see a vacuum or broom.
-You love chocolate.
-You love strawberries and blueberries.
-Your first word is "Da!" for dog.

And last.... the other day you dropped something on your foot. You actually pointed at your foot to tell me what was wrong. O Jonah.

I and Love and You.

You turned one today. My cup over-runneth.  I love you, tinky face.

Dear Jonah,
We are back! It is now time for binge posting since our computer has been broken for months! I have so much to say to you... You will be one in one week from today.  Guess if that makes me sentimental? It does.

I found this quote today in Eastern Body, Western Mind--my new favorite book-- and I got all choked up. It is from The Prophet, by the poet Kahlil Gabran.

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.
They come through you, but not of you.
And though they are with you yet, they belong not to you.
--- Kahlil Gibran

That is only a segment from the passage, but I feel that more everyday. When I watch you learn, dipping your fork into yogurt, vacuuming every corner of the kitchen, closing your eyes when i wash your hair, I realize you are nature set in motion.  You came with all the programming, with all the potential just waiting for triggers in the world around you to call them out--then you shoot out a sprout.  We make your soil rich, and you do the rest. I watch you with awe, as I do with many things in nature.

playlist

*slow it down....coldplay
*falling slowly....once
*swept me away....avett brothers
alone....trampled by turtles
you belong to me....lumineers
everybody talks....neon trees
we are young....fun
some nights....fun
somebody that i used to know...gotye
this is from matilida...alt j
eet....regina specktor

Firsts

Clapping.
Holding things out for me to try.
Purposefully rubbing your eyes and nose and ears.
Mamamamamamamama... when you are mad.
Rolling to what you want.
Amaranth.
Carrots.
Watermelon.
 Halloween.

All in the last few weeks. 

Sleep

Dear Jonah,

This week you have started sleeping in your own room, in your own bed. I should now be sleeping soundly, with lot's of room to roll around and breathing space--instead I am holding my breath listening for yours from the other room.... waiting to hear a sigh, a breath, a movement. I lay there wondering if the blanket is over your head, if you are warm enough. I lay there half-way to mostly awake until you finally become restless and let out a small cry. Then I leap from bed and bring you to bed with me, so I can finally sleep soundly.

Last night I held you close and watched you as you fell back to sleep and I started to miss you already. I know someday, and someday soon, you will mostly sleep in your own room. You will be too big to cuddle in a perfect circle in my arms. I will love the new you, but I will miss our sleepless nights together. So many nights I wake up from a deep sleep and see your sweet face sleeping next to me. Somehow this wakes me all the way up, and I stare at you and smile. One night the moon was reflecting blue off your face. One night there was a huge lighting storm. Most nights you have your arm over your face or tucked under your chin, propping your face up. All nights I am filled with love for you. I remember the very first night I woke up next to your in the hospital room. I was overcome with love. My cup runneth-ed over. :). I thought of all we had already been through together in less than 24 hours. Pain and love like I had never known. I thought 'there has to be something. How could we possibly go through so much for nothing.'

Love you sleepy baby.